Keep chalk on your heels.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Goin' Private

Nationalization? Most certainly not.  It's only a matter of time 'til a smaller blog goes private - it's now that time.

Email me to get on the guess list all you good looking guests you.

-Collosco B.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Blog Title - Can you guess what it means?

The title of my blog carries a significant meaning.  It was uttered a handful of times to me by a mentor of mine.  Can anyone (that is any of my three followers or random internet surfers who might have stumbled upon my blog - both of which probably sum to -2 viewers) surmise what this line means?

"Keep chalk on your heels."

Rewards will be awarded to the closest and most creative submissions.
The awards will include 5 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact and a scratched "The Office" dvd (season 4, disc 3).

(I need a new job - too little to do and too much time.  It sounds appealing, but is a dread.)

Stay Classy 

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Europe is now officially official now.

We booked the flight tonight.  

Perhaps the wisest $612 I have ever spent!

5/23 - 6/20 + Visa = priceless

There is one upside to a down economy:

  • cheaper airline fares
  • a stronger greenback - $1.25 / Euro

here we come Spain, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Czech, and Germany!

Stay Classy International World!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I will look back...

I must say the last six plus months and the last two years have been such a unique experience for me.  Years from now, I know I will look back keenly and fondly on experiences I've had in the last two years.

(in no particular order)

I have:

  • learned the cost of generosity; it is always worth it 
  • seen my love grow for my grandparents, Jay, Odessa, June, and George
  • listened to and love Gnarls Barkley, Muse, Radiohead, James Blunt, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, and Mika
  • rediscovered my friendship with my father
  • redefined my priorities a number of times - I continue to learn what's really important
  • lost my gentle, loving, magic-performing grandfather, George
  • made many many friends
  • put 40k miles on my car in one year and five months
  • fought off the girls with a stick "Why do girls have to like me?" Mom got a kick out of this highschool statement
  • likewise been fought off by a stick!
  • seen "The Office" rise and decline in humor and appeal
  • had some great times and laughs with Nathan, Megan, Andres, Graham, Erika, Lori, John, and David 
  • wish I had more time for the piano and vocal instruction
  • believe that walls can be taken down in as simple a manner as Jericho - faith
  • had the opportunity to teach elders quorum a number of times
  • been stopped by police or highway patrol 6 times resulting in 4 tickets
  • own a Dwight Schrute bobblehead
  • travelled with Jochen, Marianne and Henni in Europe and saw them again a year later 
  • missed my out-of-state brother Cardin and sister Brynn
  • thoroughly enjoyed my golf outings with Jordan, Jared, Darin, and Tyler
  • been to California twice - my second home state
  • thought of my good friends - the Skoczylis family - often
  • love all that I get for only 10%
  • learned how to dance in public and private with little reservation 
  • made a handful of over-nighters to Crystal Hot Springs
  • not spent enough time outside besides soccer games
  • learned the positive and negative impacts of music
  • learned balance in many things
  • "Why, because we're both handsome?" 
  • all the fun and clever times with Jordan B., Brian, JD, Dustin, Jordan Y., Scott, and gang and wives.  "We are kind of a big deal." 
  • love the wisdom I will always receive from my father
  • spent my 2008 summer at Lagoon with my friends
  • received a German National jersey signed by the national team from my work manager
  • been able to spend time with Andy, Tiger and the girls twice in the last three years.
  • been stressed to the max like never before for 12 months over last year in college
  • reacquainted myself ever so fondly with Nirvana MTV unplugged
  • gave up dating my last semester of college
  • knocked doors for window washing customers
  • fought, yelled, and cried with others and alone
  • discovered Snow Basin
  • dreamed of Germany for 3 1/2 years
  • sang one botched, but still pretty, solo in church (it was bad, hilarious, and pretty all at the same time!)
  • rediscovered oldie Erasure, Depeche Mode, Billy Joel, They Might Be Giants, Live, and U2
  • come to understand my Heavenly Father a little better very slowly
  • increased my gratitude and understanding of my brother and savior, Jesus Christ
  • spent too much money at Bajios
  • finally recognized that I love the emerging spring as much as I have always loved the fall
  • lost my breath at the sight of Switzerland's beauty
  • gained 6 new nephews and nieces; B. E. M. N. M. B. (Maci included)
  • said goodbye to my mother for a short time and gained a stronger family
  • seen my fascination for economics continue to grow
  • grown closer to many elders as I served more than 2 years in the elders quorums
  • randomly asked out 6 girls that have caught my eye (and have 2 more in the works)
  • graduated in Bus. Economics and learned so much.  I made great friends with Dr. Nowell
  • grown closer to all my siblings
  • have always wanted to get an MBA
  • was able to help Dave and Mandolin renovate their new home - we had a blast
  • discovered Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin.
  • become great friends with my cousins at 374
  • miraculously walked away from a completely horrific car accident in which my car was totaled.  I thank Him and His angels for that. 
  • purchased my dream car - 2003 Acura 3.2 TL.  It's a beautiful romance really
  • paid for my own schooling (and still am)
  • gave a killer senior thesis presentation and will be published
  • been blessed with two new families - 374 and 1510
  • 4 new fantastic mothers - Mandolin, Kristen, Tammy and Nadine
  • bought a MacBook Pro. Money does bring happiness.  Money buys the mac, mac brings happiness
  • found my voice
  • always loved to learn a new word - gregarious, scintillating, docile, quixotic, etc.
  • thrived on hosting holiday and "The Office" friend parties
  • set course for a brilliant career in investing
  • learned better who I am
  • discovered some fabulous music and great movies
  • was forced to leave my beloved soccer field after only 15 minutes due to my wretched mono and for the following 6 months.  It was perhaps one of my saddest moments ever
  • was infected with mono and West Nile virus - quite a nasty combination - nerve pain + exhaustion
  • served
  • run
  • confronted
  • loved
  • played soccer and ran in the pouring rain and mud
  • felt the child in me again as I saw the bright orange-yellow side dump trucks while driving to work 
  • learned teasing my nephews, Harris and Brigden, has its limits. I treat them much more kindly now.  My nephews and nieces are some of my best friends
  • made great friends with Kevin and Shannon and love them
  • switched rooms multiple times at 1403 Cville while renovating
  • broke in my bedroom door
  • shoveled many walks - I love doing the walks
  • become great friends with Dodger
  • left my car running while I went into work
  • consider myself a swimmer although I haven't swam in a year
  • learned some amazing principles impressively unfolded by C.S. Lewis
  • read Thomas Mann's Tonio Kröger a number of times
  • am no longer ashamed of liking, no, loving children's movies
  • learned that only so much is in our control
  • cherish my mother's example in all things (except the whole "rotten day" mumbo jumbo)
"God grant me the serenity to 
  accept the things I cannot change;
  courage to change the things I can;
  and wisdom to know the difference."

I am a product of my choices and all that surrounds me.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Devourer and Thief of Goodness - Chocolate Chip Cookies

I am a devourer of chocolate chip cookies and not the least bit bashful about it.  Yet you might have never known it.  My obsession remains largely secret.  When it comes to my delicious chocolate baked friend I have no reservations and throw all rules out the window - socially and morally.  I have no shame in exceeding the amount deemed socially appropriate.  Where this might invite comparisons to the cookie monster, such a comparison would only discover our shared like of cookies.  Much more important is my method of acquiring many of my good chocolate chip friend.  A more accurate comparison might reference Mr. Hamburglar and his intrepid yet surreptitious method in acquiring plentiful amounts of his senses-dulling delicatessen - cheeseburgers.  At any type of potluck (be it missionary hello's and bye's, ward functions, friend bbq's, or work parties), one moment the best cookie will be just hanging out, looking pretty and then suddenly the next moment this blue ribbon cookie and 7 of his cronies will be MIA! (two on my plate, three neatly wrapped in a napkin below my plate, and three again neatly wrapped in a napkin in my pockets!)

I consider this a skill - that is, my ability to first spot the tastiest cookie and then secondly to capitalize and secretly bring as many of these cookies as possible into my possession.  A delectable, scrumptious cookie for me is as good as money in the bank.  Nor does it matter whether I eat them all or not (although I usually do); saving them for a snack later isn't difficult at all.  You didn't get one, you say.... oh that's too bad.  I will still conceal the three I have in my pockets!  Although I would much rather plot and execute highly sophisticated heists (be it banks, auto boosting, the annoying cat next door, etc.) such a quiet plunder of seizing the tastiest chocolate chip cookie without being detected feeds my need for mischief.  As for the cookies that aren't so tasty, don't be offended when I replace the partially bitten cookie back on its platter.  It was a crappy cookie and everyone behind me would soon learn that anyway - let's just speed up the line of communication and spare them the mouthful.  I see it as me doing them a favor.  If it's no good for your cookie conniving nephew, (step) son, brother, cousin, Collin, then it's no good for anyone.  

So the next time you see me exiting the food line with plate in hand you may want to check my pockets, I just snagged Noah's and little Will-will's share of the cookies!

Stay Classy Planet Earth!

Friday, January 23, 2009


A few experiences:
On facebook I recently came across a person by the name of Jane Ulrich Schroeder. 

How would that be - to trade your ugly german maiden-name for an even uglier german name?!

I like Bell, nice and simple.  My wife won't ever be able to fully express her thanks to me.  It'll be a compliment enough that she marries me.

So I mentioned I think I'm going to fly with Lufthansa two posts ago.  I think I'm reconsidering.  I'm thinking about Delta.

The Office - 

Mr. Prince: I started our paper office when I returned from Vietnam.
Michael Scarn (Scott): Vietnam? I hear it's nice over there.


I thoroughly enjoy observing people, particularly when they either 1) struggle in trivial matters or 2) reveal their unique idiosyncracies.  I believe I inherited a portion of this from my button-pushing and chain-pulling mother.  The remaining portion I derive simply from my boyhood and exertion of power over nieces and nephews.  

This one's simple, but it's amazing how some people lack absolute self-awareness.  The breed of cashiers at Primary Children's Rainbow Cafeteria is different from the standard gas station cashiers and even your local grocer's cashiers.  Suffice it to say that they're different.  Just the other day, after ordering my grilled chicken ranch sandwich and potato cheese munchers (a tasty cheesy cousin to the tatertot) from the grill and picking up my two milks and my absolutely delicious coconut, chocolate chip, macadamia nut cookie I proceeded to the cashier.  Now, these cashiers take their job seriously.  It is imperative that all actions be executed according to their training received from the unique higher-upper cashier coworker.  Sometimes you will be overcharged for something simply not on your tray in fear of not accounting for everything there.  Sometimes, you pay a dollar or two less.  "It all comes out even in the end," seems to be their policy.  As I waited behind the kind sir in front of me I noticed his total came to $5.48.  He handed the cashier a $10 bill.  She retrieved his change from her drawer.  First came four $1 bills.  She handed them to him.  Then came two quarters, but after dipping into the penny compartment she realized there were none for her to slide out.  So she reached for one of the few penny wraps in the drawer while grasping the two quarters.  With that finesse that the who's who of cashiers possess, she smacked that penny wrap on the metal rim of that drawer.  Too much finesse, not enough power.  It didn't pop as it normally does.  Her finesse failed her this time. ( 2 seconds )  She hit it again. ( 1 second ) A penny shone its pretty little copper face through a very micro rip.  Its eyes squinted from the brightness of the intruding light.  She hit it again.  Not much change.  She hit it again. (2 seconds) It began to slowly reveal its structural weakness.  She hit it again 3 more times. ( 3 seconds ) It came to a deadlock; that wrap wasn't going to break and neither was she! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! ( 5 seconds ) BANG! BANG! BANG! (2 seconds ) - Meanwhile, the line is rather bustling and rapidly increasing in hungry patrons taunted by the food staring at them on their trays and we wait. . . . . BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! At this point you would have figured she would have reached for some scissors.  Oh, no, she remained focused, zeroed-in, head down with blinders and powered on through! BANG! BANG! BANG! The torture of the penny wrap must have lasted seriously just short of a minute.  I just relived it in my mind right now while I timed it on my iPod stopwatch and it must have been about 47 seconds. I'm tempted to embellish this fact and say it was 48 seconds, but that wouldn't be honest.  47 REAL SECONDS!  47 seconds in real time is forever.  Sit there now, and create the noise of a coin wrap recklessly being smashed against a cash drawer. Told ya, forever.  About 20 seconds into this mess I start to crack a smile and with every five seconds my smile grew larger until lastly becoming an audible constrained yet bursting laugh.  Now if her sheer persistence isn't enough to break you wait for the final element.  You see the whole funny part was the bloody penny jar sitting on top of the drawer.  At second 33 I looked down at these fifteen pennies and they were all laughing hysterically with outreached, defined, muscly copper shining arms and pointing their fingers at her while their chest and shoulders violently oscillated!  Their outcry only then fueled my incipient chuckle at which point she broke it open with quite an unfulfilling plop.  However, then she couldn't break any of the pennies free from the halves!  She finally managed to grasp two pennies, which she handed to the kind, patient (and dumb) man. (two pennies?!?)  I advanced to the front of the line at which point I quickly replaced my $10 bill into my wallet and handed her my debit card.

Stay Class Internet.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Almost forgot.

Start Radiohead tribute band.

stay clas 

They read my stuff..

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