On facebook I recently came across a person by the name of Jane Ulrich Schroeder.
How would that be - to trade your ugly german maiden-name for an even uglier german name?!
I like Bell, nice and simple. My wife won't ever be able to fully express her thanks to me. It'll be a compliment enough that she marries me.
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So I mentioned I think I'm going to fly with Lufthansa two posts ago. I think I'm reconsidering. I'm thinking about Delta.
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The Office -
Mr. Prince: I started our paper office when I returned from Vietnam.
Michael Scarn (Scott): Vietnam? I hear it's nice over there.
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Cashiers
I thoroughly enjoy observing people, particularly when they either 1) struggle in trivial matters or 2) reveal their unique idiosyncracies. I believe I inherited a portion of this from my button-pushing and chain-pulling mother. The remaining portion I derive simply from my boyhood and exertion of power over nieces and nephews.
This one's simple, but it's amazing how some people lack absolute self-awareness. The breed of cashiers at Primary Children's Rainbow Cafeteria is different from the standard gas station cashiers and even your local grocer's cashiers. Suffice it to say that they're different. Just the other day, after ordering my grilled chicken ranch sandwich and potato cheese munchers (a tasty cheesy cousin to the tatertot) from the grill and picking up my two milks and my absolutely delicious coconut, chocolate chip, macadamia nut cookie I proceeded to the cashier. Now, these cashiers take their job seriously. It is imperative that all actions be executed according to their training received from the unique higher-upper cashier coworker. Sometimes you will be overcharged for something simply not on your tray in fear of not accounting for everything there. Sometimes, you pay a dollar or two less. "It all comes out even in the end," seems to be their policy. As I waited behind the kind sir in front of me I noticed his total came to $5.48. He handed the cashier a $10 bill. She retrieved his change from her drawer. First came four $1 bills. She handed them to him. Then came two quarters, but after dipping into the penny compartment she realized there were none for her to slide out. So she reached for one of the few penny wraps in the drawer while grasping the two quarters. With that finesse that the who's who of cashiers possess, she smacked that penny wrap on the metal rim of that drawer. Too much finesse, not enough power. It didn't pop as it normally does. Her finesse failed her this time. ( 2 seconds ) She hit it again. ( 1 second ) A penny shone its pretty little copper face through a very micro rip. Its eyes squinted from the brightness of the intruding light. She hit it again. Not much change. She hit it again. (2 seconds) It began to slowly reveal its structural weakness. She hit it again 3 more times. ( 3 seconds ) It came to a deadlock; that wrap wasn't going to break and neither was she! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! ( 5 seconds ) BANG! BANG! BANG! (2 seconds ) - Meanwhile, the line is rather bustling and rapidly increasing in hungry patrons taunted by the food staring at them on their trays and we wait. . . . . BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! At this point you would have figured she would have reached for some scissors. Oh, no, she remained focused, zeroed-in, head down with blinders and powered on through! BANG! BANG! BANG! The torture of the penny wrap must have lasted seriously just short of a minute. I just relived it in my mind right now while I timed it on my iPod stopwatch and it must have been about 47 seconds. I'm tempted to embellish this fact and say it was 48 seconds, but that wouldn't be honest. 47 REAL SECONDS! 47 seconds in real time is forever. Sit there now, and create the noise of a coin wrap recklessly being smashed against a cash drawer. Told ya, forever. About 20 seconds into this mess I start to crack a smile and with every five seconds my smile grew larger until lastly becoming an audible constrained yet bursting laugh. Now if her sheer persistence isn't enough to break you wait for the final element. You see the whole funny part was the bloody penny jar sitting on top of the drawer. At second 33 I looked down at these fifteen pennies and they were all laughing hysterically with outreached, defined, muscly copper shining arms and pointing their fingers at her while their chest and shoulders violently oscillated! Their outcry only then fueled my incipient chuckle at which point she broke it open with quite an unfulfilling plop. However, then she couldn't break any of the pennies free from the halves! She finally managed to grasp two pennies, which she handed to the kind, patient (and dumb) man. (two pennies?!?) I advanced to the front of the line at which point I quickly replaced my $10 bill into my wallet and handed her my debit card.
Stay Class Internet.
